Missing You: Finding Hope In Hardship by Suz Holmes & Jenny Wheeler

Author:Suz Holmes & Jenny Wheeler [Holmes, Suz]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Terebinth Estate Publishing
Published: 2014-12-21T23:00:00+00:00

17. Looking to God

‘God isn’t concerned with your comfort, but with your character.’ -Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life.

AFTER MARK got ill, we lived on the Government benefits — Sickness and later Invalid’s Benefits — supplemented by some part time work and help from friends, family and church members. Although we were thoroughly grateful for the extra help we received, the sum total often didn’t stretch far enough to pay all the bills as well as buy food and petrol.

One day there’d been some reduction in the government payment we were receiving, and I was furious. I ranted and whined about it all day to anyone who had the misfortune to cross my path. I moaned at pre-school, I whined at the store . . . I rang so many people about it. . . And then I gave my brother Adam, a non-believer, an earful. Without missing a beat he fired back; ‘Well you’d better hope your God looks after you then.’

In a ‘change my attitude’ moment all I could do was look at him and say weakly, ‘Yeah, I’d better... okay.’ I’d spent the whole day on a rampage of whining and my non-Christian brother bailed me up with one sentence. Our constant goal was to model New Testament living to others, and encourage them to rely on Jesus, too. But it was certainly easier said than done.

When Mark’s diagnosis changed from ‘terminal illness’ to ‘permanent disability,’ I became even more fearful and frustrated about our finances. I had no job qualifications outside of being a missionary and mother. I was sitting at home — looking after a sick husband yes — but I worried people would think we weren’t doing enough to help ourselves. And I reasoned if I was going to have to be the family’s main income provider in the future, I needed to get started on doing something now, before I got more bad news.

I wanted to benefit not just myself but the girls, so began my career as a swim coach. I worked at a local pool teaching swimming for a few hours a week. I saw it as a triple blessing; it gave us a little extra money, I could take the girls to the pools, where they received free swimming lessons while I taught, and I also received free training to be an instructor.

What I hadn’t counted on was how an apparently simple little step like that could get me in a tangle with social welfare authorities. I’d understood WINZ – Work & Income New Zealand, the government office which administered social benefit payments — would need to know about the job, and so I’d tried for months to arrange an appointment with them.

Every time I was paid I had contacted WINZ and attached my pay slip to a letter asking for someone to get in touch with me to explain how the payment affected my benefit. I was relieved when after three canceled appointments, I finally met with our new case manager.

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